The PickUp Artist Community (PUA)

Should a guy pay for the first date?

I had this question in my mind for a while after looking over the blog post, "Should the girl pay for the first date?". I have heard from a lot of women that if a guy does not pay for the date then she will easily feel awkward, unease or offended. They have also said that it is almost like a deal breaker and she will no longer pursue him or even bother getting to know the guy any further. I know this question goes back and forth a lot and I want to know what everybody else here thinks. ME personally I feel more comfortable paying for our meals. At least until a relationship is established. That is just how I am as a polite person. So what do you guys think?.....

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Comment by Andre on June 5, 2010 at 12:41pm: I got the same Opinion as Phillipson. If i go pick up a burger with a friend of mine, why should he be thinking that i should pay for his meal?

As i will treat all Persons equally, even the ones in whose pants i wanna get (sorry for the direct words), well, THAT would make me awkward. I think People sticking to the anchient rule of man has to pay are just stuck in the past. This made sense long time ago, when women did not have their own income normally and the men were the feeders. In our modern society, i assume it to be a bit outdated. And also, i would have the mindset that i am paying the girl for being with me, and she might feel the right way also.
It´s important though, to state this opinion to the girl early on.
I am also not fond of getting drinks from girls for free... Even if i did it lately, as a nice gal stepped on my foot 5 times at dancing. I said the next time, she would owe me a drink as pain penalty. She stepped on my foot again, and complied as i said: " Enough is enough, now i get a water from you." Did not even know her name, lol. Still i felt like manipulating her. Not nice, i won´t do it again. Not without taking care of the next round myself afterwards, at least.

Comment by Darkehaven on February 28, 2010 at 7:47am: Well, there are many ways to approach this topic, but going with your comfort is ok for the time being. One thing I do with my friends, is if one friend invites another, it is on them to pay for the other, but if it is group plans or a generic "hanging out" everybody pays for themselves. The problem with girls feeling awkward with paying for themselves, and calling it a deal-breaker, is probably the same kinda of girl that collects free drinks at the bar. If you let her know before the date that everyone is paying for themselves, then she has no expectations when the check comes at the end of the date. That way, if she expects you to pay, but cancels the date because you said you wouldn't, then she is looking for a free meal. If you decide to pay for part of the date, after telling her that everyone pays for themselves, then you are being spontaneously generous.

Comment by Phillipson on July 26, 2009 at 8:44am: Don´t be afraid about paying... If you want , tell her: " I would pay half of money for a meal, you girl would pay for second half for meal... 50% on 50% understand? Your relationship has to be equivalent.. Fair play, okey? :)