Nine-year-old boy makes talking to girls easy

Last year, I interviewed "Mystery," billed as the greatest pickup artist. He has a television show that helps men who perpetually strike out meet their match.

This Valentine's Day, the advice for a happily-ever-after comes in a smaller package.

Alec Greven, author of the best-selling book "How to Talk to Girls," believes all social anxieties and relationship problems can be solved on the playground.

Yes, you read it right. Alec, who is turning 10 in April, has become the cub Casanova of Colorado.

At Soaring Hawk Elementary in Castle Rock, Colo., he wrote this how-to book during class time. It became a best-seller at his school book fair.

"I saw a bunch of boys around the playground and they had trouble with girls and I wanted to help them." Alec said.

This wasn't going to be easy. "Back then I was only 8 and I was pretty young and I didn't have a girlfriend."

But he could glean experience from his own broken heart, which he nursed in preschool, and from observing his buddies on the playground. This way he could figure out how boys his age could get the girl and hopefully keep her — at least until lunchtime.

"From my perspective, the book itself is very charming and very sweet and brings us all back to the basics of love," said Cindy Tomasi-Hamilton, his publicist at HarperCollins.

There's that term again, "back to basics."

From the White House to organic food in grocery stores, to recycling and cleaning with environmentally safe products, everyone is being urged to get "back to basics."

But the way we communicate has gotten more complex with Internet dating, e-mail and Web cams. It's easy to get caught in a web of fiber optics and never meet a person in person. In fact, when the Internet dating concept was explained to Alec (Alec is an avid reader who doesn't use the Internet), he said it sounded "pretty weird."

This got me thinking. Perhaps adults can use his advice. Let's take a look at his list of things to do in order to meet a girl:

1. Be friendly.

2. Look clean.

3. Act normal — don't try to be too cool.

4. Don't act goofy.

5. Show off a skill — but don't be a showoff.

6. Give compliments.

7. Don't brag or else you will have to start all over.

Numbers 1 and 2 shouldn't be a problem for most grown-ups. Three and 7 are where, in my opinion, we hit a glitch. Greven says boys shouldn't try too hard — it's all in the approach.

"They just get nervous and they lose their words and they can't talk," Alec said. "You just have to walk up casually and just say 'hi,' and if she says 'hi' back then you are off to a good start. Just ask her a question, and make her do most of the talking, because you can't mess up and it's just a lot easier."

Alec states in his book that "You have to be aware that girls win most of the arguments and have most of the power. If you know that now, things might be easier."

Lots of girls and adults made it possible for Alec to spread his approach across playgrounds in the United States and five other countries. In fact, the Fox Broadcasting Co., which owns HarperCollins, optioned his book for a movie. Some writers wait years for all this to happen. Alec explains how his good fortune was just a "chain reaction" that happened.

"It took me half a week to research and it took me a week to write it because I had to take all that research and put it in ... so it took me a week to write. Then I typed it up, gave it to my teacher and she laminated it in a fancy schmanzy way ..."

Alec sold the book for $3 at the school book fair, donating the profits to his school, the Susan G. Komen Cancer Fund, American Heart Association and Children's Miracle Network.

A local television news crew interviewed Alec about his book and sent it to Kara Hogan, a producer on "The Ellen DeGeneres Show." Hogan contacted Cindy Hamilton at HarperCollins Children's Books.

"The Ellen DeGeneres Show" arranged for Alec and his mother to be guests on the show last February and arranged a visit with HarperCollins to make a pitch.

Hamilton — or, as Alec calls her, "Miss Cindy" — was excited to promote the small Cyrano. "He is extremely charming, very poised, very put together. You don't see many 9-year-old kids like Alec," Miss Cindy said. "It didn't take us but two seconds to know that we wanted to publish this book."

It also didn't take long for Alec and his family to use his good fortune to help others by donating part of his advance from the book to Stand Up 2 Cancer. He and his mom formed the Giving Team and so far they have raised $11,580. Their goal is $100,000.

"He kept saying to us that when you give a little you get a lot, which we found amazing that a kid could think that way at 9 years old," Miss Cindy said. "He himself sold us."

Alec has big plans to keep selling HarperCollins on his ideas. He's working on "How to Talk to Boys" and "How to Talk to Teachers." Fox has optioned the rights for a movie version of "How to Talk to Girls."

"How to Talk to Moms" will be out March 15.

"How to Talk to Dads" will be out April 21.

"How to Talk to Santa" will be out Sept. 22.

With all of this, he's still a little boy with lofty goals. He intends to continue as a writer and also become a senator, a teacher or an "ologist," either paleontologist or archaeologist. The only thing is, he doesn't have a valentine just yet.

"Right now I'm kind of like a bachelor. I'm a little young for dating or anything."

Alec, have I got a niece for you.

Alec is using a portion of his advance to help www.standup2cancer.org. To help go to the "Get Involved" pull-down tab on top, select "The Teams" and type in "The Giving Team." His goal is to raise $100,000 and he said he chose this fund because it helps all cancers. His book can be found in major bookstores and Web sites.

Upcoming events for singles

Chai Singles — Dinner, 6 p.m. Feb. 15, Copper Bottom, 162 Main St., Florida. $25 per person includes meal, tax and tip. Call Linda, 294-7601.

Dutchess County Singles dance — 8 p.m.-midnight Feb. 13, Best Western Inn, Route 9, Poughkeepsie. $13 members, $15 nonmembers. Cash bar and free hot and cold buffet. Call 896-5286 or visit http://members.aol.com/HillsideAS/DCS.

Mohonk Preserve Singles and Sociables ski or hike — Millbrook Ridge, 9:30 a.m.-3 p.m. Feb. 7, meet at West Trapps Trailhead. This is a strenuous six-mile snowshoe or hike, led by Jim Dewitt. Free to Mohonk Preserve members and $9 for nonmembers (includes a day pass that allows hiking access to Preserve lands for a full day, sunrise to sunset, and can be credited for up to two weeks toward a membership). Call 255-0919 or visit www.mohonkpreserve.org.

Mohonk Preserve Singles and Sociables ski or hike — Guyot Hill, 10 a.m.-3 p.m. Feb. 8. Meet at the Spring Farm Trailhead. This is a moderate six—mile ski or hike, led by John Kenney. Free to Mohonk Preserve members and $9 for nonmembers (includes a day pass that allows hiking access to Preserve lands for a full day, sunrise to sunset, and can be credited for up to two weeks toward a membership). Call 255-0919 or visit www.mohonkpreserve.org.

Valentine's wine tasting — 1:30-3 p.m. Feb. 8, Monticello Gaming and Racing, Monticello. $13. Call 794-4100, ext. 423.

"Love at First Sight: Five Biblical Examples" with Dr. Illana De Laney — 6:30 p.m. Feb. 19 at the JCC, 1035 Newfield Avenue, Stamford, Conn. $10 for class and dinner. To reserve, e-mail patty@ujf.org.

Quiet Party — 6:30-9:30 p.m. Feb. 11, Madame IX, 94 W. Houston St., between Thompson Street and La Guardia Place, New York City. This is a party with no noise or talking. People pass notes around. Pens and paper are provided. Admission $10 plus two-drink minimum. Visit www.QUIETPARTY.com.

Cafe Internationale Ramada Inn — Singles dance, 6-11 p.m. Feb. 15. $13 per person includes tax and tip. DJ and buffet. 1289 Route 300, Newburgh. Call 567-9429 or 564-4500.

Ongoing

Breakfast for Singles on Sunday, 45 and older — 10 a.m.-noon every Sun., Bradley's Corners Diner, Wawayanda. New members welcome. Call Ron, 692-4680 or Fred at 386-5104.


Cornwall Area Singles — Open to all Hudson Valley singles 45 and older. Meets for dinners, home get-togethers, hikes and area events. New members welcome. Call Ellen, 783-3824, or Will, 783-2308.

Dance lessons — Ballroom, 7:30-8:30 p.m. Thurs.; Argentine tango, 8-9:30 p.m. Fri.; belly dancing, 5:15-6:15 p.m. Fri. All at Warwick Community Center. $15 per class. Singles welcome, especially men. Call 987-1770.

Free car care for single parents and widows and widowers — Fredrick's Excavation Garage, 23 Janice Drive, Middletown, last Sat. of month. Oil changes and safety inspections. Sponsored by Family of Faith Lutheran Church. To make an appointment, call Robin at 239-2823.

HANDS widows and widowers group — 6:30-8 p.m. Mon., at HANDS International Headquarters, 9 Scott Drive, New City. Call 634-6706.

Harriman Hikers singles hiking club — Meets at 11:30 a.m. Sun., Ramapo College, Route 202, Mahwah, N.J. At lot B-1, south lots. Rain or shine. $6. Call Greg at 628-3986 or Ed at 973-471-0492, or visit www.harrimanhikers.org.

Holiday Inn dances — For singles 40 and older, 6 p.m. second and fourth Sun., at Holiday Inn, 68 Crystal Run Road, Town of Wallkill. Buffet $15. Call Harold at 692-6900.

In the Company of Friends — Jewish singles group sponsored by Monroe Temple Beth-El for age 40 and older. Call 783-2626. For activities, RSVP to danajsa@optonline.net.

Magic Moments — Dinner for professionals ages 40-58, meets in a private home in Rockland County. Call 362-3710 or 364-7289.

Mid-Hudson Single Professionals Club — For mature-aged singles, meets socially for events throughout region. Call Carol at 928-9252 or Rene at 227-6374.

Mid-Hudson Valley Singles and Friends — Get together with people ages 30s-50s for dinner and laughter at 5:30 p.m. every Wed., in the food court near the Sprint kiosk at the Galleria at Crystal Run, Town of Wallkill. Activities are also scheduled throughout the year. Call Fran at 590-3439 or e-mail at fransrealestate@aol.com.

New Beginnings — 7:15 p.m. Thurs., Town of New Windsor Community Center, Union Avenue, New Windsor. Support group for divorced, separated or widowed. Call 565-9271 or 534-3815.

SAMI (Single, Active, Mature Individuals) — 55 Bank St., Sussex, N.J. Hiking, canoeing, whitewater rafting, biking and more. Membership $45 per year. Call 973-875-2068 or e-mail smitchell@tellurian.com.

Serendipity Singles Chapter Two — Circleville Church, corner of Route 302 and Goshen Turnpike, Circleville, 7-9 p.m. Tues. Help with separation, divorce, grief and loss. Social events are also planned. Call 733-6032 or 361-2381.

SDRC (Separated, Divorced and Widowed Roman Catholics) — Meets 7:30 p.m. first and third Tues., St. Patrick's Church basement, Route 32, Highland Mills. Call Carol, 928-9252, or Ellen, 534-9465.

Singles dance classes — Salisbury Mills Firehouse, Route 94, Salisbury Mills, 6:30-7:45 p.m. Mon. and Wed. No need for a partner. $65 for six-week session. Fox trot, swing, merengue, rumba, waltz and salsa. Call Linda at 914-850-6309 or 496-4203 or e-mail at TheDancingChef@frontiernet.net.

Stepparents discussion group — 6:30-8 p.m. last Tues., Paesano Pizzeria and Restaurant, 23 Crestwood Road, Lake Huntington. Call Pam at 252-7198.

"A Single Connection" — Meets 7:30-9 p.m. Tues., 240 Midland Lake Road (also known as Freezer Road), Scotchtown. For age 45 and older. Topic discussions, socializing and fun. Call Andrea at 692-5237.

Sophisticated Singles — "Social Sundays," dining and dancing, 6:30 p.m.-midnight Sun., Holiday Inn, Danbury, Conn. $10. For both singles and couples. Coffee, dessert and door prizes. Call 203-792-4000.

Starting Over — A group for single women led by a marriage and family therapist. Sponsored by Jewish Family Services. Open to everyone. $8. Call for meeting times at 341-1173, ext. 303.

Courtesy of RecordOnline.com

By Amy Berkowitz
Times Herald-Record
aberkowitz@th-record.com
February 04, 2009 - 6:00 AM