His journey was too short

Why am I sitting home on a Saturday night?

I'm out almost every weekend. I can pick up any girl I want, literally. I was even told that tonight, I can get any girl I choose. I go out and keep my skill up because I teach this to other guys, to show them how to find the one that they want.

However, I sit here on a Saturday night, the 4th of July, what I expect to be a big night at the club . . . reflecting on a life that was too short. I lost my 13 year old son Friday morning, just after 9.

He had a long, hard battle with cancer.

Before the cancer, he had many other battles he fought and won. He had cerebral palsy, epilepsy, tics . . . at one point it was easier to say what he DIDN'T have.

But the boy was a fighter. He didn't let anything hold him down. Most of us can learn from him. He knew how to show unconditional love as well. He loved those who loved him, but he also loved those who abused him. Yes, he was also abused. Not that I didn't try to get him out of the abuse, I very much tried, but alas, that wasn't his fate. However, he withstood that too.

I would get so frustrated with him calling me and keeping me on the phone when I was busy, asking me what seemed to be easy questions that he should know the answer to already. However, through all that, he was learning. He learned the answers to what he was asking . . . I saw this later . . . and he was showing me love, by coming to me, his dad, and sharing his thirst for knowledge with me. I wish I had realized these things at that time, but at least I do now.

He had two younger brothers he looked out for. He was always the protecting big brother, even on his death bed. He thought about his brothers and wanted to make sure they were taken care of. This boy knew how to love.

Everytime he heard my voice, even in his last days, his face lit up, his eyes widened and brightened as he looked for me, he moved his head as much as he could to find me. I didn't know before this point just how much he treasured me. Well, I should have known, but I was blind to it. As much as he tried to show me, I was blind to it.

As I sat by his bedside, and his youngest full sibling sat next to me, that brother asked me if the light in his older brother's eyes were going out. I said yes it is. What a picture. What love those two shared. The little brother wouldn't leave his big brothers side. He drew some of the best artwork I've seen a 9 year old draw. He drew the gates of Heaven for his big brother, among other things. He couldn't talk highly enough of his big brother. He learned love from his big brother.

This 13 year old boy, laying there, had shown everyone that he had touched, how to love, how to live, how to laugh, how to enjoy life. We just couldn't see it until this point, unfortunately.

Apparently this precious child had to die for us to get these lessons through our head, for those of us that his life touched. I hope it's not that way for everyone. He will be tremendously missed.